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MONDAY

Morning:

School Holiday so entertain and feed kid

Afternoon:

Entertain and feed kid

Evening:

Entertain, feed kid, and persuade her to take a bath

Night:

Fight with kid over everything because you’re both exhausted, Fight about getting out of the bath, brushing teeth, number of bedtime stories, going to sleep 

9:30pm Open computer and stare listlessly at manuscript, pour wine, search new releases on Netflix

TUESDAY

Morning:

8 am  Wake up & work on social media – Wake up late because child had a nightmare about Mommy getting her head bitten off by a monster and we were up for an hour in the middle of the night, race to get to swim class on time

9:59am  Arrive at school on time

10:00am  Watch kid’s swim class

10:40am  Gym – Because yesterday was a school holiday – Think about dialogue for a tricky scene while on treadmill – Stand in front of gym for five minutes trying to remember what it was I needed to get at the drugstore…Bug Repellant!! I noticed my daughter’s almost out when packing her backpack.

Afternoon:

12:30pm  Lunch w/ husband

1:30pm  Write – Computer reminds me of family member’s birthday, quickly search internet for present 

3pm Get back to Writing – Make mistake of checking phone and finding 41 messages from parents in kid’s class on the firing of a favorite teaching assistant in addition to a few suggestions for weekend playdates

4:15pm  Get back to Writing – Suddenly remember a package for my daughter waiting to be picked up, race to post office, Dammit! race back home to get wallet, race to post office, realize there’s not enough time to get back home before school pick-up, go to bakery and get dinner

5:45om  Pick up child

Evening:

6-6:30pm  Dinner – eaten while child is having her snack

6:30-7:30pm  Family Playtime

7:30  Begin persuading child to take a bath

7:50  Get child in bath

8:15  Finally persuade child to leave bath

Night:

8:30  Argue about teeth brushing

9pm  Read bedtime stories

9:30  Write for two hours

WEDNESDAY

Morning:

8am  Wake up & work on social media – Wake up to wet sheets and crying child because she peed in her bed. My fault. I gave her the whole bottle of coconut water after dinner. Can’t give her coconut water after dinner. Gotta remember that.

9:30am  Take child to school

10:15am  Gym, Revise previous night’s writing while on treadmill

11:30am  Stop by toy store to pick up birthday present for kid’s classmate

11:50am  Make appointment for kid’s haircut on way home

Afternoon:

12:30pm  Lunch with Husband

1:15pm Write – Get call from school saying child is fine but has fallen and hit her head on the corner of a concrete pillar and now has a giant knot on her forehead, decide to pick her up from school early because I can watch her more closely than the school and it’s better to be safe than sorry

Evening:

6pm  Dinner

6:30-7:30pm  Family Playtime

7:30  Begin persuading child to take a bath

7:50  Get child in bath

8:15  Finally persuade child to leave bath

Night:

8:30  Argue about teeth brushing

9pm  Read bedtime stories

9:30  Write for two hours

THURSDAY

Morning:

8am  Yes. Finally. I am waking up to work… –Another school holiday?! Are you kidding me? Schools are closed and teachers don’t work on Teacher Appreciation Day?! What sort of socialist hellscape am I living in?

Afternoon:

Entertain and feed kid

Evening:

Entertain, feed kid, and persuade her to take a bath

Night:

Fight with kid over everything because you’re both exhausted, Fight about getting out of the bath, brushing teeth, number of bedtime stories, going to sleep

9:30pm  Open computer and stare listlessly at manuscript, pour wine, search new releases on Netflix

FRIDAY

Morning:

8am  Wake up & work on social media

9:30am  Take kid to school

10am  Gym, Tweak scene that has been complete in my head for a week while on the treadmill

11:30am  Write – in total amazement that I’m looking at manuscript before lunch

Afternoon:

12:30pm  Lunch with Husband

1:15pm  Write – get call from school that daughter is complaining of a headache, she doesn’t have a fever, tell school she’s just trying to come home early and that I’ll pick up right after dinner

2:30pm  Get back to Writing – get call from school saying that child has just thrown-up, race to pick her up driven by crushing guilt because she was not in fact lying about feeling bad

Evening:

Hover over sick child with bucket

Night:

Hover over sick child, Give her a bath, Get her to sleep in my bed, Read in bed to keep an eye on her

SATURDAY

No working. Family day.

SUNDAY

No working. Family day.

 

I imagine books entitled Write a Novel in 30 have a special chapter for parents that starts “First, find a place to send your children for the month.” If I get 2,000 words down, it was an awesome writing day and I don’t even have to do the daily household chores. We have a housekeeper! It’s one of the perks of living in a country that values human labor less than tomatoes. Imagine throwing in cooking, cleaning, ironing, grocery shopping, and basic home maintenance to that schedule. Imagine more than one kid! That’s the life of a parent trying to write.

A writer and mom I follow on Twitter recently wrote about finishing the 6th draft of a manuscript she’s been working on for 3 years. Honestly, I’m surprised she’s been able to get through so many drafts in that amount of time.

I raise a fist in salute to my fellow writers and parents. I bow in deep admiration to those…oh crap, I forgot to get the cotton balls for the ghost craft happening at the Halloween party I’m throwing on Saturday. Better go now. Gotta pick up the kid in an hour.

fJzNWoE