Saturday morning my kid woke up asking for sausage. She’s Brazilian, so it’s a pretty common request. She’s a very picky eater, so if she demonstrates enthusiasm for any food that isn’t made by Hershey, we try to accommodate her request. That’s how we ended up at a packed churrasco (a restaurant serving heart-stopping quantities of grilled meat) swarming with sweaty, screaming families and their kids. In other words, hell. The kids all seemed to love it.
Why wouldn’t they? This place was family-friendly in a very Brazilian way with a multi-level playground, 2 trampolines, five TVs with Playstations, and a small amusement park ride. Any American actuary would stroke out upon entering this restaurant.
The kids were dying of happiness.
All except my kid.
We got there early enough to grab a coveted table in front of the entrance to the play area. It was the most chaotic spot in the place, but we’d be able to see my daughter from our table. We ordered her sausage and beef and french fries. My husband the vegetarian contented himself with rice and beans. She thanked us by whining, complaining, and pouting the entire time.
There was a Claw-crane arcade game right in front of our table, and up against the glass was a stuffed cheetah. Game over. My daughter was obsessed. Nothing we said could convince her to let it go. The playground, the video games, the carousel of airplanes, the sausage, they were insignificant next to this stuffed cheetah. She left the restaurant crying. I left with a burning desire for a sledge hammer. We were all pissed off for the rest of the afternoon.
My daughter’s day was ruined by a cruelly placed Claw-game. And so was mine. If you don’t have kids, you might not realize how heavily a parent’s mood at the end of the day relies on their child’s emotions. And a kid can be plunged into emotional turmoil over a sock. Yes, I’ve had mornings or entire days that were corrupted by a sock.
The Claw is just another in a long stream of innocuous things which have completely ruined my day. Here are five more items and tasks I now face with trepidation.
- Basic Personal Hygiene Specifically, the maintenance of it. Five years ago, brushing teeth or hair didn’t consume a lot of mental energy. A bath was welcome especially in the scorching summers of Rio. Now, I mentally steel myself using techniques I learned from Navy Seals before approaching my child with either soap or a toothbrush. Many a morning or evening has been ruined by screaming refusals to use either.
- A Pair of Wonder Woman Undies A very special pair that is never, never clean when requested.
- Chocolate Ice-cream Normally a curative for emotional collapse. Unless it doesn’t have the option of M&M toppings. We don’t go to that ice-cream store anymore.
- An Inflatable Pterodactyl One that was made so cheaply and with such indifference nobody noticed one of the wings was glued on backwards. It came in a package of six and was never played with after being opened. The toy had no impact on our lives whatsoever, until it was given away then demanded inexplicably a few months later. Now, it will never be forgotten.
- A Slice of Carrot Vegetables in general, but carrots have the greatest potential for being nibbled so this is the one that usually brings everyone to arms. There was a memorable night out when my daughter sat on the floor under the table screaming with snot running down her face because I demanded she have one bite of carrot. Wait…no. It wasn’t carrot. It was a bite of macaroni and cheese. Which I’m now willing to consider a vegetable. One that she won’t eat. That’s where we are on the vegetable front.
It will be a very long time before my husband and I are willing to go back to that restaurant. Which is unfortunate because the number of places we now feel that way about includes pretty much everywhere with the exception of the ice cream store with M&Ms for toppings. I’m actually fine with that.
Yes they are sensitive little flowers! Fickle too! Thanks for linking up to #TheList x
What is it about children that makes them allergic to anu form of cleaning. Both my boys were the same, and haircuts were even harder.
Thank you for linking up. Tracey xx#abitofeverything
I’ve tried to think about bathing from my daughter’s perspective to figure out why she fights it every night. I can’t figure it out. The really frustrating thing is that she always loves the bath once she’s in it, but every night it’s “I’m NOT going to take a bath!” Seriously! How can you not remember how much you loved the bath only 24 hours ago?
Oh goodness, you poor thing! I definitely try to stick with carry out as often as possible reasons similar to those. Kids can become upset so quickly over the oddest things. Some days, it’s just not worth the mental effort. Hope things get better for you soon! #abitofeverything
Thanks! We’ve definitely had to change our lifestyle because of my daughter’s…sensitivity. We are always back home by 8pm. She’s more prone to fits when she’s tired (like most kids) but hers are so epic, there is no event worth the energy of dealing with a fit. Our friends probably think we’ve moved to the United States.
oh dear I know his feeling well. My daughter has certain shops I absolutely cannot shop in when she is with me, I have to be careful how I wake her for school otherwise it’s an all out tantrum and she is 9! Great post!
She’s 9?! Oh great, so it lasts until they’re 9 and then they become tweens…Oh god! It never ends!
Oh my goodness the hygiene. I have to meditate before wiping his face.
What is it about being clean that freaks kids out? You’d think we were pulling teeth instead of brushing them based on my daughter’s reaction.
Very good post…love the amusing children stories. Glad its all the same in Brazil as the UK!
I’m beginning to think child rearing is all the same everywhere. I don’t know if that’s good or terribly depressing. ; )
Glad you enjoyed the post!